it snowed today. again.

i feel all "soul-searchy" today. i always revert to writing when i'm like this. and it's usually around a time when something big is about to happen in my life. i found this out today while reading my journal. listen to this uber-sensitive courtney after she just saw "into the wild" {a great film}, also ignore any grammar errors or expletives, its my journal:

[i just watched this movie and feel like i identified with the character in some ways. i want to be "self-actualized". i want to know who i am. what i am. where i am going. i struggle with heavy shit like LOVE, DISAPPOINTMENT, REJECTION, HAPPINESS, PAIN, SORROW. what are these words? how have i felt these things? do i know what each feel like? its 2:30 and i just feel like crying for the pains of the world. i hate it when i get like this. anyways, i shouldn't have written now cause i'm all "feely". i feel it all. i feel it all. "happiness is only real when it's shared."]

whoa.

sorry to unload on you like this. but i'm moving on from an imperative point in my life in less than a month. i'm freakin'. more from said journal:

[i just feel like i can't deal with disappointment as well as i should be able to. and it cripples me. this is one of the truest statements i've heard in my life, "every plan is a tiny prayer to father time" {thank you ben gibbard} i make plans, i have dreams and hope and pray they are met, if not, i am disappointed. i feel like i'm not living life to the fullest and taking advantage of every breath god gives me and this causes a great disappointment: sorrow. i wanted to have a marvelous college experience, i wanted to be a school counselor or therapist, i wanted to work at a group home. i wanted to move to new york, be a chef, serve a mission . . . not to say these things haven't played out or still cannot be, but it is because they haven't gone the way i thought, that i sorrow.
i make this "prayer to father time" and hope that my final year in college year goes well . . . i hope to feel i am doing the right thing with my life after college, whether that means moving to new york or not . . . but if not.]

that's basically how i'm feeling right now. and i hope it wasn't inappropriate to share.

loves.

today, i saved some daffodils from a bush.

i found these beauties trying to grow in a small patch of grass in the parking lot today. i thought they'd serve a better purpose on my desk. i was right.

and.
i cut my own bangs today. dangerous. scary. wrong. now i'm walking around with thick, uneven, craziness on my head.

oh le love, you've done it again.

wishing you and yours.

a very lovely st. patrick's day.

{thank you deviantart.com for this beaut image}

question: when shortened, is it 'st. patty's day' or 'st. paddie's day'?

the feet exhibit.

my feet.
brought to you, for your viewing pleasure, by courtney.

i'm lds.

so i wanted to share something with you about my church. this video was made to counteract the mumbo.jumbo about "big love". i'm confident you know the mumbo.jumbo i'm talking about. i feel like american's are always preaching respect and loving kindness, but then forget about that when it comes to religion. as i respect other's in their differences, all i ask in return is that same respect shown towards me and my beliefs. enjoy ...

personality tests, by courtney.

there are a few ways that i have devised to uncover a person's true character:
1.their shoes.
2.how they act when they are dating/in love{eh, whole other post "the couple"}.
3.how they act in the water/at an amusement park.
4.what music they listen to.
basically you know the person inside out when you know these things. however, i added one more to the list while i was looking at my bulletin board a few days ago:
5.whats on their bulletin board.

here's me:

what are grandmothers for?

while i was visiting my home last weekend, i found something amazing...a quilt, in my cedar chest. it will need some fixing up, but that's what grandma's are for. {i'm lds and i don't know how to quilt?}

rude!

so . . . last night was ridiculous! and i completely agree with all this.
can't wait for tonight . . .